I'm so sorry...
Apr 1, 2009 12:41:15 GMT -5
Post by ReeRee on Apr 1, 2009 12:41:15 GMT -5
Please forgive me for not being around lately. Just when I think everything is going smoothly, I hit a bump in the road. My life is topsy-turvy right now and I'm not sure that there is anything that I can do about it.
I may have to move to Florida to care for my mother. I genuinely hate the thought of moving so far from my babies, but the truth is that they are grown and they don't need me anymore. My mom does need me now.
My dad died in 2002. A year later my little brother sold the property that my dad had bought before he was married and raised his family there. It was a tough pill for me, my sister and my oldest daughter to swallow, but we did for a couple of reasons. He bought my mother a condo and paid cash for it from the proceeds of the sale of the property.
Mom was much happier because the condo was in town, near her friends, had better water and she didn't have to drive as far to do all the things that she still loves to do. My brother had made a promise to my dad that my mother would have a place to live until she died. Now, 7 years later, he made the announcement that he can't afford the payments on her condo anymore so he is moving her in with him and his wife. Turns out that he financed the condo to pull money out of it a couple of years ago. I am FURIOUS!!!!
It would be different if Mom wanted to move in with him, but she doesn't. My sister told me that the look on her face is broken, that she feels defeated and lost and almost feels homeless. I'm afraid that he will take her car keys away from her and that will kill her. She is 73, but she volunteers at two charities every week, goes to church three times a week, is Treasurer in the Extension Homemaker's Club that she has been in for 35 years, and plays cards with her friends on weeknights. She takes her friends on errands because they aren't able to drive and she is. She has her independence and she feels needed. To take that away from her would sap the life right out of her.
I'm looking into transferring my job to Orlando and trying to buy a home in St. Cloud for her and I to share so she will still have her independence and still be able to afford it. I feel like the rug has been jerked out from under my world, but I have to take care of my mom! The thing is, she is very capable of taking care of herself physically, she just needs some help financially. I can't support two households, and definitely can't help her the right way from another state 1000 miles away.
I'm at my wits end and any suggestions or opinions from all of you is not only welcome but will be greatly appreciated! It's a good thing I am not capable of murder or my little brother would be a dead man!
I may have to move to Florida to care for my mother. I genuinely hate the thought of moving so far from my babies, but the truth is that they are grown and they don't need me anymore. My mom does need me now.
My dad died in 2002. A year later my little brother sold the property that my dad had bought before he was married and raised his family there. It was a tough pill for me, my sister and my oldest daughter to swallow, but we did for a couple of reasons. He bought my mother a condo and paid cash for it from the proceeds of the sale of the property.
Mom was much happier because the condo was in town, near her friends, had better water and she didn't have to drive as far to do all the things that she still loves to do. My brother had made a promise to my dad that my mother would have a place to live until she died. Now, 7 years later, he made the announcement that he can't afford the payments on her condo anymore so he is moving her in with him and his wife. Turns out that he financed the condo to pull money out of it a couple of years ago. I am FURIOUS!!!!
It would be different if Mom wanted to move in with him, but she doesn't. My sister told me that the look on her face is broken, that she feels defeated and lost and almost feels homeless. I'm afraid that he will take her car keys away from her and that will kill her. She is 73, but she volunteers at two charities every week, goes to church three times a week, is Treasurer in the Extension Homemaker's Club that she has been in for 35 years, and plays cards with her friends on weeknights. She takes her friends on errands because they aren't able to drive and she is. She has her independence and she feels needed. To take that away from her would sap the life right out of her.
I'm looking into transferring my job to Orlando and trying to buy a home in St. Cloud for her and I to share so she will still have her independence and still be able to afford it. I feel like the rug has been jerked out from under my world, but I have to take care of my mom! The thing is, she is very capable of taking care of herself physically, she just needs some help financially. I can't support two households, and definitely can't help her the right way from another state 1000 miles away.
I'm at my wits end and any suggestions or opinions from all of you is not only welcome but will be greatly appreciated! It's a good thing I am not capable of murder or my little brother would be a dead man!